Meh. So what if I've ignored my blog for two months?

Truthfully, I haven't really found anything entertaining enough to share until I found this. I really want to live next door to the guy; I'd totally feel protected.

Rock.

Oh, and I started a business. Bizz-nasty? That's why I've been busy, psh!

Labels: entrepreneur, state of unemployment, useless blog, websites

a house with just a few cats and a dog... minus the mess
your forgiveness
you to stop haunting my dreams
more opportunities and less frustration
a vacation that actually feels like a vacation, airplanes, beach, annoying tourists and all
more time in the car, going places with you
motivation to work out
hummingbirds that will eat out of the feeder I put out
ingredients and good recipes for French pastries
to have dinner with my family
a big bouquet of lisianthus
to open a chocolaterie
to stay as still as it can

Labels: useless blog

I joined the San Francisco Lyric Chorus this week, excitedly so, since it gives me something to do and they actually think I have some talent (I was offered a solo at my audition, squee!), and I think this may be my favorite piece we perform this season. Check it out:



Remember
Christina Georgina Rossetti. 1830–1894

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Labels: 2009, boredom, change, lyrics, music, new music

No matter how much you want to shake things up, you'll still need to acknowledge the limitations that are currently part of your life. It won't always remain like this, even if you can't see a clear path that leads toward your ideal situation. The harder you try to reach your goal now, the farther away it appears. Paradoxically, releasing your grip on the future is your best assurance of getting there on time.

[Tarot.com Aquarius Horoscope]

Labels: The First Year

Today, I'm allowing myself to be frustrated and angry and sad. I am getting to a point where I feel so ill equipped to find work, to find an employer who thinks my skills are actually worthwhile and that my aptitude can outshine any serious flaws or holes in my skill set.

I feel like such a fucking sourpuss. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. Especially on such a special day. Congratulations, President Barack Obama!

Labels: 2009, Barack Obama, change, state of unemployment

I'm in an interesting place.

Everything around me is kind of floating in time and just... hovering. Where was I? I forgot what I was writing about. It's been a slow and quiet week of just waiting, wondering, questioning, enjoying my time, and spending time with people I am really starting to enjoy. I just feel very wrapped up in love, wrapped up in caring and not really sure how I'm supposed to pick it up and carry it with me.

You know... I am waiting and watching and listening and learning. I have found myself in a comfortable place where I'm fighting to stay - I can feel myself stopping and starting, rejecting it for no apparent reason, and I have to find a way to stop doing that. If I don't, I'm going to end up hurting people who definitely don't deserve being a part of the stupid shit I put myself through. So! This week... I will be at the gym every day (as opposed to the lousy twice a week from the past two weeks). I will find somewhere to volunteer some of my time. I will rewrite my cover letter and resume to match each job I apply for this week.

Eh? How cool is this?


P.S. I love being on unemployment. :-D

Labels: 10:2, 2009, change, friends, jobs, state of unemployment

Why? Because it's really what is going to get me some income. I'm lacking it completely. Focus.

I'm supposed to be packing, moving, finding a job, starting a business, working on editing and proofreading a book, marketing a book tour, and still look good doing it. Am I? Not sure. I'm doing a lot better at sitting on the couch waiting for all of it to happen for me. This is bad. Last time I was unemployed, I felt I was actually productive, effectively talking to a lot of people, getting things done, but this time, when things don't happen quickly enough, I just get frustrated and stop. I'm hoping this state of flux will let up a bit when I move all my stuff into storage and just focus on the big stuff, instead. We'll see. I'm already feeling naked without all my clothes available to me.

Oh! Hey! I was contacted by a venture capital group on the east coast who were interested in putting some money into music related ventures. I'm pretty friggin' excited about that. I sent them my exec summary and am waiting to hear back. I'm also prepping my presentation for some big name VC groups... I'll be sending out my packages to them in the next few weeks. Eek.

Did I mention I'm terrified? Don't tell anyone, though, that'll ruin my good name. ;-)

I should go to the gym. That would make me feel better. Ciao for now, I'm out to swim in the pool to make my life more sunshine-y. Or something.

Labels: 2009, boredom, business, concern, entrepreneur, jobs, lazy, start-ups, state of unemployment, useless blog, working out

At least I'd like to think so.


This weekend was absolutely stunning, the weather was warm and sunny, I spent almost a solid 48 hours out and about and enjoying the beautiful January weather in California. Friday night, I was up in the city to go dancing with some friends - always entertaining to see your friends get trashed and silly.

Saturday, I went for a hike in the morning, worked on cleaning up debris in the backyard of my friend's new house, came home to watch some football and take a nap and then ended up wandering the beaches of Santa Cruz all the way up to the Half Moon Bay area in order to catch some truly extraordinary shots of the largest full moon of 2009. Sunday included football, breakfast, minigolf, more football, dinner, and some Wii tennis...


My life is rough.








Back to life as I know it now, I'm relaxing with the window wide open, working on my business plan as I prepare for my meeting with SCORE reps next week, applying for jobs, packing and enjoying a Wii break every other hour or so.

Labels: beach, jobs, weekend, west coast

I'm going to be completely honest here. Whatever is going on with the job market these days is complete bullshit. Jobs I applied for, and thought I was honestly qualified for, are now being reposted after a month on the job boards. Now, I'm not even trying to toot my own horn, here, or anything, but I know I am qualified to be, at the very least, a marketing coordinator. We're talking entry level marketing. There is no reason why these people aren't calling me and I don't really understand what employers are looking for, especially now that jobs I saw posted at the beginning of December are being posted again. Wtf?

I'm obviously more than a little agitated. I'm in a place where I am much more qualified for the jobs coming up here, I've been able to convince one company to take a chance on me... If only I could get the interview, I'll have the job. I know how to make the interview work in my favor, but I am so sick and tired of rewriting my resume to make it 'stand out'. It's crap. I've gone from 4 pages to 1. I've highlighted accomplishments and not just job descriptions. I have written cover letter after cover letter for each prospective employer, and I'm sick of doing it already... that may have something to do with my lack of enthusiasm this time around (unemployed 2 times in a year? That's un-possible!). I'm tired of this. At least (thank god) I'm getting unemployment this time. It's something. I can live... for awhile.

Who wants to take a nap with me? In the sunshine? It's not so bad. Really.

On a bright now, I'm almost done wrapping up my presentation to the Founders Fund. I'm terrified.

Happy weekend!

Labels: entrepreneur, interviewing, jobs, over it, state of unemployment

Maybe I'll become Ed Norton in Fight Club and go start hanging out at therapy groups. I'm so over this unemployment bullshit.

So far, I've even tried to get retail gigs, and as it turns out, my unemployment earns me more money per week than any retail job I've found so far. I think the only job down here that has the possibility of getting me any significant amounts of money (outside of a real job, that is) would be cocktail waitressing. Maybe. In this economy, it seems silly to even try working at a restaurant - I haven't been in a restaurant that is full since I moved to California. Kind of crazy, if you ask me.

So far, I've had about 10 people contact me directly regarding a position at their company and I've had significant contact with 6 recruiters who have positions they think I am well qualified for.

And yet, not a single interview scheduled.

What the F is going on here.

I'm going to the gym to sit in the hot tub and make myself feel better. Don't you wish you were unemployed? ;-)

Labels: business, interviewing, jobs, over it, recession, state of unemployment