Dear Prospective Employers,

I realize that I worked for five years in higher education. Thanks. I need the reminder, daily, because sometimes I forget that I let five years of my life waste away in that trap where I couldn't get anyone to pay attention to the fact that no one was learning any additional skills that they might use in the future. Really. Fortunately for me, I had the sense to go out and fulfill my desire to learn something by earning an MBA in the meantime, focused on marketing because I thought it was fucking thrilling (actually... that part is true). Good thing I dropped $100,000 on my education because now, not only do I not have the right skills for the position I actually want, but you think that I will want much, much more money for your crappy administrative assistant position that might earn me some additional skills over time to get into your marketing department's pants. You're right; I do want more money, but I also realize that you probably won't give it to me. So please, get over yourselves, don't make me take the MBA off of my resume. I'm proud of the work that I did, the GPA I maintained while working full time at my job. Just because you think that I have nothing to offer you, I can promise you, PROMISE YOU that if you'll just give me a chance, let me talk to you, you'll love me.

And then, only then, will you realize that my skills go above and beyond knowing the applications that only your company uses, that I can talk a brick wall into buying your product, and that I have ideas you've never even considered to improve your supply chain, lessen your marketing costs while increasing effectiveness, and develop your staff by recognizing their talents and using them effectively.

So, get off your high horse and hire me.

Labels: business, confidence, development, interviewing, jobs