Hello, blogosphere, bloggoland, blogger central, blogtools, and blog wtf is this people.

I am alive.

So... this has been a hellacious two weeks, I must say.

I was offered a fabulous job in NYC (let's not kid ourselves, it was in White Plains) and I was set. I was psyched, ready to go, ready to make the big move and start working full time again... except...

I got a call. Call said, "Call me back. We'd like to give you a phone interview." Uh... hmm.... really? Well. All right. I guess it's just a phone interview. Much like the other phone interviews, I expected less than nothing from it.

Except that then they wanted me to interview in California. And so I did. And they spent two hours talking to me.

And then... they asked me why I really wanted this job. Apparently, I came up with the right answer.

Oddly enough, a few days later, I got an email. "Sorry I never got back to you, I never checked this email, can we chat?" This, of course, in reference to the seven million emails/letters/flowers/fruit baskets I sent out to investors regarding my personal startup. Turns out someone actually thinks my idea is valid and was willing to put a significant amount of (financial) faith in me. Wow. This calls for a very grand OMG, wtf is happening to my life? I just sat around for 6 months wondering, wallowing and widowing (essentially) about my misfortune and misgivings and, I'm sorry, WTF JUST HAPPENED IN 1 WEEK?! WHAT?



So, that said, here I am. Sitting in my friend Cara's house in Boston at 3:47am on Sunday morning trying to rationalize all the huge mistakes I made in order to get me to this place. Amazing, yet... I have no idea. I went out today, and, inexplicably, ran into 95% of the people I had no intention of seeing on this trip, primarily my ex. I made very specific decisions about where I was willing to go out with people and why, mostly because there was no way in hell he would possibly show up in those areas on a Saturday night. Why would he? It's d-bag town all around and I know he'd rather stay close to home where things are much more mellow and popped-collar central is far from delving into his relative stomping ground (sorry, is that even English? I'm drunk... it's late...) Anyway... wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong I was. There he was.


There he was.

My friend Dennis asked me if I was going to California with an achin' in my heart. I thought I was being cute and funny sending out some Zepp as my formal announcement, but then I had to think to myself, was I? At the time, I thought no.

Today, I think otherwise.
There he was.

Labels: state of

Ben Sollee.

I listened to this interview on All Things Considered yesterday and had to check out his album.

The best part of the interview is when he talks about his song, "Panning for Gold".


"This song isn't so much about religion and spiritualism as much as it is just about aging. Both my grandparents are dealing with dementia right now and they've just sort of forgotten all that they created and did. I simply used the character of God and the idea that if he created everything he could potentially forget that he created it and it would be up to us to show the beauty he created."

For the first time in a long time, I got that. Hope you do, too. :-)

This week, I'm heading to the left coast for an interview adventure. When I return, I'm going to have to make some very big decisions about my life, but at least I'm starting to feel ready to make those decisions. I hope the people that I put on hold for a little while will understand... I feel terrible for just pausing my life all together, but sometimes that's the way things have to go. I finally feel like I'm breathing again on my own and I'm looking forward to the next... to the next everything, really: friendship, failure, learning experience, recipe, job, home, argument, bottle of wine, the next.

Hope you had a happy 4th of July!

Labels: interviewing, jobs, music, new music, next, scary, websites, weekend