I've noticed that I totally stopped blogging the past few weeks... not because I haven't actually been blogging, but because I hesitate every time I go to "Publish Post". Bad. It's not exactly as if I have the most captive audience and need to maintain some level of standards when it comes to pleasing the masses, but really, I've been a little hesitant to put all my goodies out on display for the whole world to see. I'm on a bit of an emotional high that I don't want to end and I feel like describing some of the things that are really rocking my world right now might make it seem unreal, maybe? Or maybe lessen the experience? Maybe that's just because I'm a poor writer to begin with and I don't think I could possibly be describing all the great things that happen with the amount of emotion in writing. Not sure.

I've spent a lot of time with this really fantastic group, I don't even know how many people, 20 or 30 different people that I've met at this point through Val. I feel comfortable with them, they're really a fascinating, entertaining bunch who seem willing to do just about anything. A few weekends ago, we went down to La Nebbia Vineyards for Bottle and Cork day, spent the day outside lolling around in the sunshine with mountains of picnic food, playing bocce and drinking wine. It's almost as if sharing these experiences takes away from the experience itself.

I have an even harder time talking about my 'personal' life. Let's just say that I'm lucky in ways I never imagined I could be - I'm cared for, comforted, treated well, made to feel like a beautiful person, all things I wasn't sure I deserved to feel ever again. I'm nervous about the way I feel and pretty fucking excited about it, but I'm still 'proceeding with caution'. I wish I didn't feel like I had to be cautious about anything, but my caution seems to be earning me some respect (from everyone!) and I appreciate that more than anything. I feel like I'm finally finding all the money I hid from myself in books and boxes years ago because every day on the West coast is extraordinary. And he's helping to make it better for me every day.

This week is looking pretty awesome - Thursday night, we're going up to see the Shepard Fairey exhibit at WhiteWalls SF, Saturday is Oktoberfest and Sunday is the classic car show in Sausalito.

Hey, yah, also, go see 'Burn After Reading'. It's... well, let's just say it's fucked up. I could say it's funny, or entertaining, my friend Heidi called it 'cute', but really? It's fucked up.

Labels: amazing, awkward, change, communication, review, social media, weekend