"No one needs drama. We all need to be successful, strong, and making a difference in our way. The "significant other" should be there to support that and pick you up when you fall down. Not to play games like "I don't know how I feel today". Fuck that shit."

We're all redefining what a successful relationship is. I think it's being a successful individual, finding the things in life that give you enjoyment and fulfillment. When a 'significant other' enters the picture, it's about taking those things that each of you loves, and supporting the other to the Nth degree. There isn't much of a 'traditional relationship' anymore, where you have all the same interests, you do everything together, you just learn to love the other person because they do things well.

I've encountered an 'issue' in my current relationship. I look around and see these young couples and I wonder, how do they get to that point? How does a couple get to a point in their relationship where they think about getting married, talk about it, decide to do it? How do you decide to have children?

How is it that I'm in a situation now that is so good, so perfect and yet, there's something holding him back? I blame myself, of course, I think it's natural to do that - especially after my most recent experiences with relationships. I feel a bit like eggs whites that got whipped up all nice and fluffy and then some fucker goes and drops a bit of yolk in and ruins the whole experience.

I have to vent via blog as to not drive him completely insane with my over-analytical female commentary. So I'm dating this handsome, brilliant (in my eyes - he's an engineer, how much smarter can ya get?), funny, snarky guy with great taste in music and things are going well. So well, in fact, that this sudden change in emotion is really throwing me off and I feel a bit like a hyper-emotional psychopath. I liked the way things were going - I missed him when we were apart, but never had a problem trusting him, still enjoyed my free time quite a bit, and when we were together, things were great. But over the past few weeks, he's gotten distant, gotten a little rude with me at times and I just couldn't put my finger on it. So I had to ask, "What is going on with you?"

I have a tendency to think that no guy ever wants to be the mean guy and therefore his "I don't know what's wrong, I don't know how to fix it" means more than he's letting on. I also happen to know that when he's done with a relationship, he's done and makes it clear. Would he change his regular pattern for me? I don't think there's any special reason to treat me differently.

The best advice that I am willing to take right now is "You can't be afraid that something will fail, even a relationship." I don't think butterflies last forever. I don't know whether or not they are recyclable, I don't know how to make them reappear magically, and I don't know what makes one person want to really work with another person to make a relationship sustainable.

Is it too early on to be having these issues? Or is it a test to see whether or not this is a guy who is willing to work? I am not afraid of this, I can't be afraid of this. I think that I want my relationship to be one where it is a choice to stay in it because we love and care for each other. I'm looking forward to that, and I want that to be something that can start now. I don't have to make any decisions today.

Compliments of Rick Levine and the way I hope to think about this situation for today:

"You are in a position to share your vision of the future and there's no reason to hold back. Don't worry about being practical today; this is your chance to dream aloud. Remember, you aren't sharing your ideas for an action plan, so it needn't be grounded in reality. Telling a fantastic story can be more inspiring than a step-by-step strategy for success."

Labels: awkward, change, communication, relationships